I hope that my story will help someone facing fear and horror after being diagnosed with a serious illness. All diseases are horrible, and thinking about all the suffering in the world, I did not have the audacity to ask, "Why me?" Well, why not me, no one can escape the possibility, it’s part of life. I considered my diagnosis of breast cancer to be almost trivial in comparison to the diagnosis of advanced HIV which a co-worker received just weeks prior to my diagnosis. I considered myself lucky. Knowing that I have a potentially terminal disease makes me truly appreciate each sunrise, my friends and family and the gift of life. More important than ever is the saying "don’t take anything for granted." Life is so precious and time passes ever so quickly. Every day I stop to count my blessings and realize how many there are. For every negative there is a positive and my battle has had a more positive than negative effect on my life. Prior to my diagnosis, I realized that cancer treatments would cause some drastic changes in my life. I desperately did not want my life to change, I became aware that I wasn’t so unhappy after all. Sometimes we make life difficult by trying to keep things from changing. But I saw clearly that improvement comes from some self-arranging. I also now, more than ever, realize how vulnerable each and every one of us is to losing our health. No one is exempt. Those of us who are blessed with good health should thank God every day and treasure it.

At first I felt as though my diagnosis was a death sentence and I sort of stopped living. I just existed. Thanks to my breast cancer support group, I very quickly dropped that attitude and realized that there is life after such a diagnosis. I was extremely fearful of chemotherapy, even more than of the prospect of mastectomy. Just knowing that my body would be invaded with toxic substances put me into full-blown anxiety attacks. It was a stressful six months for me and my family, but now it is part of the past and I pray every day that a recurrence will not be a part of my future. All through the months I prayed very hard for the strength to get through this phase of my life without major complications. My prayers were answered. I have renewed my faith in God and mankind through this experience. Now I live from day to day and try not to worry about the future. Whatever God gives me, I have faith knowing that I will find the strength to deal with it. I am a survivor in more ways than one. I’m well today and I appreciate it and thank God each day. I also thank my wonderful family and co-workers for their invaluable support and understanding.

by Linda J. Fowler